Musings on Being Newly Married
* Being with Jesse gives me a second pair of eyes with which to view the world, the benefit of a second perspective to weigh decisions, the steady support of a second pair of hands to carry life’s burdens. It is a constant gift of both difference and additional support.
* Jesse also gives me the gift of a reality check, even if it is one I don’t always want to willingly accept. I have found it is massively good for me to have someone else speak into my life about my blind spots, to help me see what I am really like. It is a very concrete reminder of what it is like to live with rough patches in my character, which can push me more towards softening them.
* Yet, what has stood out to me most in being newly married is how much Jesse is a refuge. Before Jesse and I got married, I was steeling myself for the inevitable battle of wills, of conflict, of learning to live with someone whose habits, likes and dislikes, and physical possessions varied quite a bit from mine. I was happily surprised then by the feeling of peace and safety that settled on us, a feeling of having one of the larger questions of life resolved, of feeling at rest on the pathway that opened before us. For me, living with Jesse is many things (including an acknowledgment of how much of a draw fantasy football really can be for some of the population), but at its best, it is a tangible reminder of God’s acceptance, of the way that He knows the grime and dirt and hard places in our spirits but doesn’t walk away, of His promise that He “will never leave us or forsake us.”
Being known like this carries with it a freedom, which then manifests itself into a greater confidence and assertion and solidity in my interacting with the world. I am free to be more of who I am because I am accepted and loved, which mirrors what happens as our knowledge of Christ’s love for us grows in us. Reassuringly, I have found that this freedom is also one that doesn’t involve reneging my identity but in growing, root by root, branch by branch with Jesse into a new one together.
Hannah Nelson-Diaz
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